Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
