How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize