how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
