shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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