Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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