I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
