More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
