what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
whose parrot is this?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
