I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize