Small penises have feelings too.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
