girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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