i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
