belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
"it" just moved
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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