there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
