i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize