How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
