Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
