You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
being pregnant is like rehab
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
