I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
