If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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