What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
