oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
