which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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