Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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