Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
