I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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