every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
