Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
