I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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