Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
