bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
