Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
