How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
