and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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