it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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