I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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