Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
