She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
