Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize