He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
