Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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