Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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