Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
