I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
