As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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