Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think people are normalizing furries
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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