Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
