No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
