the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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