I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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