Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize