He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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