I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
