Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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