Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
