Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
