No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
