either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize