Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
