Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(317): View more from Indiana

ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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(816): View more from Missouri

I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.

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(707): View more from California

We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.

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(727): View more from Florida

They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos

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(281): View more from Texas

Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.

(713): View more from Texas

As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly

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