I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
